I thought I forgave you, but I take it back. I thought that my heart was supposed to be open, to be compassionate, and I realize now that in my desire to see your side, I side stepped my own. I silence the hurt in my own heart so that I won't blame you.
I do not forgive you for what you did not do. I do not let you off the hook and I don't care about what you thought, or didn't think, about what I needed. You didn't even try.
So fuck you and your fifteenth chance, and fuck me for wanting to give it to you. I can do no more than what I've done, I must stop telling my sad heart that she must be bigger than you, that she can hurt but to keep the big picture in mind, ever making excuses for you and your selfishness.
My focus is narrow and there is no room for you and your bumbling ways. I see only my damaged heart and the suitcases of hurt I carry at your hands.
