Saturday, July 14, 2012

Knocked down

I'm feeling a little bit knocked down, and pulled apart. It just seems like I'm moving from one intense thing to another and it all started on February 17th when I saw that little tumor on my ultrasound screen. It doesn't even matter what all of these things are, but yesterday it just really hit me that it's been intense, dude. Intense.

I don't even know what to say. I feel like I'm molting. Old, dead, flaky me is falling away, and new skin is emerging. I feel resistant about this, and it's going to happen anyway. /sigh

Last night on my way home I parked and watched lightning strike every 3-5 seconds for about 10 minutes before I drove the rest of the way home. It was so beautiful, the lightning was striking behind the clouds so you couldn't see the bolts, but it back-lit the beautiful clouds in this incredible way. I feel the same way, that the strikes in my life are not something you'd see on the surface but that in some way I am revealed by them in a way I'd never expect.

The trees are calling- my trip to the Redwoods is coming up and I can think of no better place to go, rest, Medicine Walk, and feel the ground beneath my feet again.

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